“My Friend's Headlamp”
A poem.
Green eyes, in the grass, Little jewels, shining glass: Creatures of the mythic dark. But in the beam Behold! a spark: Emerald fire, fairy bright! I cast about. They dance in light.
To all my friends. Lines begun in South Carolina. Spring break, 2014.
The Poet’s Problems
Perhaps the major reason I finally decided to start this Substack was the hope of connecting with other poets and readers who might be able to help me refine my craft. I had originally planned on circulating handwritten copies among friends for a while longer first. I could use any feedback you are willing to offer.
For starters:
Is the comma in that first line tolerable, or no? How about the rest of the punctuation? Much of my composition is vocal, and the placement of those little squiggly marks is not necessarily a strength of mine.
In his sight,
— Digory
What did you think? What else came to mind as you read? What stood out, either positively or negatively? Share your comments and/or your criticism below, in the chat, via DM, or by emailing me directly directly.
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Lovely work, sir!